There has been a long silence in this journal, almost 3 months which, I think, has been the longest in SGG history.
For many good and difficult reasons.
Its hard to create a summary of what has happened. But I feel like the title of this post sums it up: there was blood, sweet, tears, and wonder.
Also despair, defeat, laughter, fury, frolicking, sleep deprivation, boredom, and panic attacks.
There was drought, bird song, the hum of insects, wind, silence.
There was plenty and scarcity.
For a few weeks, I decided to quit after this season and do something else.
And then, realizing how giving up and moving on were not so scary and that no, farming did not have to be my soulmate, I renewed my love for it and decided to try again and do better by it and more importantly, do better by myself. Maybe for a year only, maybe for the rest of my breathing days. I don't know and don't ask me because I have no idea.
The only thing that is constant in this crazy world is its chaos and unpredictability. This is hard to accept and I don't embrace it easily, but on days like today, I can be friends with it.
I have come off of 3 back-to-back 12-14 hour days. I meant to sleep in. Instead, I woke up at 6:30 feeling full of beans. I decided to go rogue. Today, serve myself by doing what I please for work and play. Tomorrow I will work. Sunday I will rest. Today, I will ramble, which in my heart, I know I do best. So far, I made blueberry pancakes. I played with my cat. I listened to celtic music (yes, I am that nerdtastic). I wrote this post.
Not sure what I will do next. Likely, swing up to the farm, clean up the whirlwind after 3 busy days. Later, will celebrate my hubbies bday by stuffing ourselves with food.
I always revel in playing hookie. Glorious freedom.
There's more I would like to write about. About butterflies and where they go and what they do, the best flipping "wedding" I went to last week where the couple got married two years ago, how SGG may be moving forward and changing in the coming years, and as always, the wonders I have witnessed from just being blessed with a job that takes me outdoors every day.
But not today. Sorry. I've got nothing and everything to do.